


Fire Hazard

by Alonginginmybones



Category: GOT7, K-pop, Mark Tuan - Fandom, ahgase - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Poverty, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alonginginmybones/pseuds/Alonginginmybones
Summary: When you love someone you'll do anything to help them.





	1. Chapter 1

The silence filled my ears coldly, I faintly heard cars swooshing by on the snow covered roads. My eyes wide open, while I laid on the mattress that rested against the cold wood flooring. I gazed around our studio like apartment, a tidal wave of shame barreled right through me as I realized how poor we really were. My two jobs were just enough to pay our utilities and rent.

His job was supposed to buy our food but I knew what it went to instead, it fed his addictions. Just the word made my skin crawl, I knew that's where he was right now giving in to his vices, wasting valuable money on something worthless and deadly. Who was I to judge when I wasn't going to stop him?

I was tired of trying. He never listened. It was always a huge fight and the time and energy could be used elsewhere. Like worrying if the hospital was going to call me, or maybe even the police. It wouldn't be the first time.

Trouble was his hobby. His true joy in life. Perhaps even his calling in life.

Leaving me to clean up his entire mess. Without a single drop of gratitude and that was fine I guess, at least I knew he loved me he told me every night he strolled in late. Smelling like the pub down the street. But he wasn't a drinker. Oh no. He patronized the back room of the bar, where they sold all of the heavy drugs. I was sure he did more than one and I was fairly certain one day I'll get the call he passed out and never woke up.

Fright and pain caught my throat as I wondered if tonight would be that night, I tried to read the clock on the wall. I calmed when I realized that this was early for him to return. I had nothing to worry about right now. So I closed my wary eyes in an attempt to catch up on my sleep when the phone at my side began buzzing against the floor.

Making a 'burr' sound repeatedly. I groped the ground until I had the device in my hand, I checked the caller ID to see that blonde head of hair shine on the screen of the phone. I didn't hesitate to pick up, knowing he went out with them.

"Hello?"

"Jaz, we need your help getting him up the stairs..." Yugyeom informed me without so much as an apology for waking me.

I could hear him babbling in the background so I knew he was alive. In which case I decided that if they wanted to take him out, ignoring my warning, then he and them were on their own.

"Sorry Yugy, but I'm sleeping."

"I'm sorry I woke you but he can barely stand on his feet without Jacks and myself helping him out we really need you Jazzy," the blonde boy actually sounded quite desperate, I could hear him say something to him in hopes of getting him to quiet down. I shook my head he clearly didn't know what to threaten him with to shut him up.

"Then let him sleep outside," I told him, feeling bad as soon as it left my mouth.

"It's not like he's a stranger for fuck's sake, He's your husband Jazmine!"

"...Don't remind me," I mumbled softly as I began to put on warm clothes. I knew I was going to give in because I wouldn't let him get sick out there. I just needed to release my frustration somehow. I stumbled about the room looking for a pair of suitable shoes so I wouldn't get frostbite.

"I'm sorry Jaz," Yugyeom said in return.

"For what Yugyeom? I'm on my way down try to get him inside the building," I dodged his sympathy quickly, I couldn't deal with knowing that everyone knew our relationship wasn't as strong as it was when we were younger. I mean how could it be with his habits? He wasn't that way when we eloped with just our friends as witnesses. He was clean with a dream of becoming a rock star.

I always thought that maybe his dream was what ruined him in the first place. I watched the band toil away countless hours writing music and studying ways to improve their sound. At one point I thought they were going to make it, get signed to a major punk label. But he ruined that too, because he was so nervous he just had to clear his mind. Had to go get a quick drink. Well he fucking blew it, he embarrassed the entire band and me. The scout told him to sober up and then he could make something out of them.

He took the comment as rejection and from there he snowballed into chaos. Being married to him, hell even being friends with the guy was a fire hazard. We never knew when he was finally going to combust because that one straw broke the camel's back. All seven of us were always on our toes when it came to him.

We even had a system going so we always knew where he was when he left. Jacks even went as far as to check on him at the record store they both worked at, to make sure he was sober. We couldn't afford the loss of his job, even if he kept most of the money to himself. We used the slim amount to the last drop.

I hung up my mobile as soon as I heard that somewhat, soft but melodic, voice. He was nearly yelling at the top of his lungs, we also couldn't afford to lose our flat because he had caused another problem with the other tenants. I winced in embarrassment as I checked around us to see if any of the neighbors had poked their heads out yet.

It was a pitiful sight to say the least as I watched the two boys, nearly dragging him across the, shabby carpeted, floor. He kept laughing about something, while Jackson and Yugyeom tried shushing him. He was a three-year-old who threw temper tantrums when they couldn't get what they want. I felt a tight ball of resentment in the pit of my stomach.

I loved this drug addicted loser, but sometimes it just gets to me when he's like this. How much am I supposed to put up with because of my love for him? The embarrassment, the fucking shame, the disgust. I was going to break if I didn't get away, but I didn't have the money for a divorce and without me no one would be there to care for him all the time.

I've left my job for him when he's had terrible withdrawals. Ones so bad that he couldn't get off the floor because his shaking was so persistent on keeping him there. Sometimes I can't help but look at my care as a barmaid would a drunkard's tab. It was ridiculous what he expected me to do for him. Eventually my back's going to shatter from how much I bend over backwards to keep his life somewhat stable.

"Look bro Jaz is here," Jackson's deep voice sounded throughout the abandoned hallway.

His beanie clad head snapped up immediately and that majestic grin graced his lips, the grin that was reserved for me even when he was sober. It saddened me to see him like this completely helpless, but I was used to it. Those overused sayings were true about love. You would do anything for the one you love.

"MINNIE!" he shouted, I flinched as his voice echoed off the walls.

I moved forward and took him from the two boys, "I'll take it from here boys thanks for putting up with his ass."

"Are you sure Jazzy? He's dead weight tonight." the dark haired boy asked me genuinely concerned for the both of us I'm sure.

"Yeah I've done it before Jacks," I mumbled, as I steadied my husband's arm around my neck.

"Night Jaz we'll see you in the morning," Yugyeom told me before kissing my cheek, the other boy following suit quickly.

"Bright and early," I promised before they waved and exited through the front door. I sighed as I looked toward him and began to drag him toward the stairs.

"Come on babe," I mumbled to him, but I knew he was spinning inside of his own head. His eyes were open but he wasn't with me, his high was taking him over completely, removing him from reality which left me to all of the heavy lifting.

It felt like hours before I finally got him up to our floor. The fourth floor. I quickly pulled the keys out of my coat pocket and unlocked our front door, I got him inside first before I locked the door behind us. I then led him to our 'bed' made out of sheets and a comforter, just minus the frame and box spring.

I pulled the beanie off his head and tossed it onto the floor beside his side of the bed, I ruffled his hair. Before I removed his holey Vans from his large feet, every step made without protest. He was so baked, that I became nervous, I took hold of his cheeks and looked into his deep chocolate eyes. His pupils were dilated and the whites around his irises were completely bloodshot. I sighed, my guess was, coke, or LSD tonight. Maybe both. He had to be tripping if he was this silent.

"Babe can you hear me?" I asked just loud enough for his eyes to shift toward me. I took that as a yes, so I gently guided his back to the mattress. As I went to the small kitchen to make myself tea and then maybe I would go back to bed. I don't think I could sleep with him tonight, not with how much pent up anger I had.

I waited for my kettle to sound before I poured the water into my cup. It was then I took my mug with me in to the bathroom, I grabbed an extra pillow and blanket from the box I had put it in, I did one more check on my husband. When I found he was fast asleep and snoring I retreated to the makeshift bedroom.

I finished off my tea and then settled in to the hard bathtub, it wasn't ideal. But we didn't have that many options.

I laid my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes, hoping that when I got up the next day,

That it would be better; Mark would realize he had a problem and want to get help.

 

Thursday 14 December, 2012  
The Next Day,  
9:00 AM

“Minnie?!”

I groaned as I tried to rotate my stiff neck, then I stretched out so I could crack my back. Once I did it was so much better for me to function and focus on who was calling my name. My sleepy hase still hung over my head, acting as a reminder of what could’ve been.

“Jaz?!” he called again; he obviously needed my attention so I folded my blanket up and stuck it in the tiny linen closet. I brought the pillow out with me to put back on to the bed, which he still resided on. He sat upright with the blankets covering his waist.

At some point last night he had taken his shirt off and carelessly flung it across the room, his hair still held the thick amount of gel from yesterday and from the way his body hunched he was still as tired as I.

“Jazmine—!”

“I’m right here Babe stop yelling,” I scolded him as I threw my pillow at his face, before I ducked into the kitchen for breakfast. I took two pieces from our dwindling loaf of bread and popped them in the toaster. I refilled the kettle and put it onto the stove.

I got the box of cereal down from the cabinet and then a bowl, I poured the cereal in and then the milk just like he likes it. I tossed the spoon into the bowl and then when the kettle went off I poured two cups of tea.

I spread the jam on my toast and then brought him his breakfast, “Here, eat and then shower you have to get going in an hour and a half, you’re opening this morning.”

I was pissed at him and thought it would be better just to walk away so it wouldn’t become a fight. I’ve had plenty of mental strain for one day, so I ate my own food in the kitchen and then went to take my shower.

I ignored his gaze as I rummaged through our boxes for a new outfit, I shut the bathroom door and prepared for my shower. I turned on the spray and quickly undressed, I threw my clothes to the side and tried to remember which day would be best for me to do laundry.

Saturday was probably best I didn’t have work until late that night and Mark was working the late shift so I didn’t have to worry about staying home with him to keep him from going out. I sighed as I washed my hair. Our lives were a mess all because he didn’t want to listen.

Getting lost in my thoughts I didn’t hear the door open, so when those arms wrapped around my waist. I jumped in surprise but then calmed down when I recognized the tattoos going up his arm.

“When I said shower I didn’t mean with me babe,” I told him; agitation was strong in my tone and I was positive he picked up on it.

“I know but I’ve missed you,” he mumbled before he placed a kiss on the hollow beneath my ear, he deflected my anger professionally.

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” unlike you. I rolled my eyes at the thought, I was just so frustrated with him, with the way everything was turning out between us. When I married him, I had such high hopes for our future and now we had nothing.

“You weren’t in bed this morning…” he left kisses along my shoulder and then up my neck, where he nipped at my weak spot and sucked away the pain. No doubt it was going to leave a hickey. Which I would have to cover up because I’m pretty sure no one who was attending my register would want to see my love bite.

“That’s because I slept here last night,” he stopped his assault on my body immediately while his arms went slack.

“Why would you do that?” he asked me slightly outraged, by my choice of bed.

“Mark you were a complete mess last night, at one point you were screaming and the next you were so out of it you couldn’t even speak…” I sighed stepping out of the shower, leaving his arms to drop to his sides limply.

“So you’re mad at me?”

“Not mad per se, but agitated yes.”

“I’m sorry baby,” he was sincere but I was sick of apologies if he wasn’t going to do anything about it. As far as I was concerned he was just blowing smoke out of his arse. Just so I wouldn’t yell at him, so a fight wouldn’t occur.

“Whatever Mark just do me a favor alright?” I asked as I pulled on my uniform, roughly.

“What’s that?” he asked poking his head around from the plastic shower curtain.

“Save your apologies for when you change,” my voice was flat and filled with no emotion. It was a harsh thing to say but I couldn’t help it. I was upset and unhappy with the way things turned out last night, and I was getting continuously frustrated with his silence.

I guess my wish wasn’t coming true today because he didn’t reassure me in any way, if anything he made it worse, so I chuckled bitterly as I finished applying my makeup. I tied my hair up into a nice bun before I checked my reflection in the mirror.

I looked well enough for a bookstore, “I won’t be home until late, I’m closing the restaurant tonight. Bam and Jacks will be here soon to pick you up, Jaebum’s on his way to get me so I’m heading out, don’t forget to lock up after yourself.”

I placed a quick kiss on his puckered lips, “I love you behave.”

“Hey, I’m not a kid Minnie!” he called after me, I chuckled as I rummaged through the boxes for my tote bag that held my other uniform.

“Could have fooled me,” I retorted under my breath, I checked my cell phone for any texts, one from Jaebum, one from my Dad and one from Yugyeom asking if Mark was functioning properly this morning I answered each one accordingly.

As I went to obtain my charger from the wall outlet, I noticed he hadn’t put his bowl or his mug in to the sink, like he knew he was supposed to, “Babe, stop leaving the bowls on the counter! For fuck’s sake you are twenty-five you should know how to wash a dish!”

“Sorry Jaz!” I knew that apology was meant to annoy me, so I just gritted my teeth and washed the bowl before putting it on the drying rack. This was absolutely ridiculous he was a grown man he knew better, I swear he did things just to get under my skin.

“I’m leaving!” I yelled loud enough to be heard through the bathroom door, or possibly all the way to Paris.

“Love you!” he shouted in return, I returned the sentiment before I slammed the door behind me. I jogged down the stairs just so we could get to work on time, I didn’t want us both to be penalized because I had stopped to take a shower this morning.

I saw the old Corolla idling outside out front and the hasy blue smoke wafting out from the driver’s side, I checked the street before I ran around to get in to the passenger seat.

The dark haired boy had the heat blasting and soft classic rock playing on the radio, once I slammed the car door shut behind me I put my hands to the heater and rubbed them together.

“I heard about your pleasant night,” he chuckled before he flicked his finished cigarette out of the window, he changed gears and pulled away from the curb.

“Yeah?” I jested, “You and the rest of the building.”

“Bad huh?”

“Well if you consider Mark shouting at the top of his lungs, Jackson and Yugyeom dragging him into the building, and then me hauling his ass upstairs bad then yes, it was bad.”

“Sounds more like a nightmare.”

“I’d say you have no idea but you’ve seen him on his worst days,” I chuckled as I turned my head to look out the window; I smiled as I watched parents escorting their children to school, cheerfully, in the snow. That would never be us.

“Well maybe with the holidays coming up we’ll get a miracle,” he laughed softly, we both knew that it was most likely impossible. But we needed something to hope for; something that could bring us joy.

“Perhaps,” I replied quietly.

“Anyway what should we do for Christmas?” Jaebum asked me, changing subjects very quickly to help lighten the mood.

“What we always do I guess, none of us can afford anything different.”

“Well there is the Christmas bonus we get from Mrs. Jennings…” he suggested, I looked to him with a knowing expression on my face.

“Come on JB you know I use that for everyone’s presents and some of our Christmas Eve dinner,” I reminded him with a small smile. It was nice that he was trying but there was no wiggle room for anything other than what we had already decided.

We were all too proud to ask our parents for help, and mine weren’t too pleased with my choice for a husband. We spoke but it was basic civil conversation, Christmas cards, and birthday cards. We didn’t see each other too often, and there was no way I was going to ask Mark’s mom she had her hands full.

It would also break her heart to know what her son has turned in to, and it would push Mark over the edge knowing he had disappointed his mother. He was a Mama's boy he talked to her every chance he got and he was always sober for their chats.

“I’m just going to come out and say it Jazzy because I’m horrible at this shit, the guys and I were thinking that if we all pooled our money together we could maybe get Mark some help, because we’re all worried about him and you. You guys aren’t the same anymore, he walks all over you and you just let him. We know how tired you are too, it’s obvious. He’s just gotta get help or he’ll end up dead somewhere if he keeps on this way…”

I was flattered and extremely happy that they all had thought this through but I couldn’t accept their hard earned money, they had their own problems. They didn’t need to solve mine, they were great friends and both my husband and I were lucky to have them. But I couldn’t let them do this for us.

“It’s really nice of you guys to do that for us but I can’t take that money from all of you, it wouldn’t be right. I have to figure it out, besides Mark doesn’t even see that he has a problem and if he does he doesn’t say anything.”

“Jazmine you need it more than we do—” I cut him off immediately.

“Jaebum, no it was thoughtful but I’m not accepting your money. Besides I’m not checking him in to rehab when it’s so close to Christmas, he’ll go crazy.”

“He’s already crazy…” he mumbled, I gave him a look and he raised his hands in a defensive gesture. We stepped out of the car and began walking the slippery sidewalk into the book store, he held the door open for me.

“It’s a good idea but the money…”

He rolled his eyes at me and I gave him the finger, and we both shared a chuckle before we began to open up shop.

*^*^*  
12:30 AM

“Why do I have a bad feeling?” I asked Jaebum as we looked over the street which was filled with cars. We both shared a look as we got out of the car, he probably figured I might need back up.

As we traveled closer to my flat, thumping bass could be heard and a lot of loud conversation. Yelling even, it sounded like a party and as Jaebum and I got to my floor Mrs. Smith was waiting outside her door.

“Mrs. Tuan I hope you know that this party is causing a rather large disturbance,” her old snotty voice filled my ears with contempt. While I wanted to just shove her back in to her own flat and close the door, I couldn’t. Her son owned this building and we would be thrown out on our asses.

“I can assure you Ms. Smith that it will be taken care of right away I apologize for the inconvenience,” I could feel the bile rising in my throat from how angry I was at both this situation and at this lady.

She gave me a look, “A word from the wise Jazmine? Leave him, he’s a bum and you’re a good girl you’re wasting your potential with this lazy nobody.”

Jaebum tensed beside me ready to defend his friend but I jumped to the quick, “Thanks Mrs. Smith but you must excuse us we have something to take care of.”

“Of course.” She then shut her door as I turned to enter mine.

There were people everywhere and whatever we had was thrown all over the floor, our food was gone or it was in peoples’ hands, someone had brought over a large sound system and there was even writing on our walls. All I could see was the sum of money it would take to fix this place up, and it was my Christmas bonus in a nutshell.

I wanted to cry but I also wanted to scream and because the second seemed to be more useful I took off for the chestnut haired prick, that had to be somewhere within this group of gyrating bodies.

“Jaebum if you have to call the police; I want these people out,” he nodded his head he began to tell these unwanted guests that the party was fucking over.

“Mark!” I shouted over the music, shoving people left and right out of my way, “Mark Tuan!”

I finally found him after ten minutes of useless searching. He was sitting in a circle taking a hit from a bong, making conversation with the other burnouts. The red that blinded my vision made me want to kill him, and I would have had there not been witnesses.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, the bastard only smiled at me. I was going to wring his neck, love him or not. I was fed up with bullshit.

“Minnie relax, we’re just having some fun!”

“Oh really? Well guess what the PARTY IS FUCKING OVER!” I screeched at the idiots sitting in the burners circle, “GET OUT OF MY FLAT! AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING DRUGS WITH YOU!”

The music was cut pretty quickly when people took notice to the situation, “I’m so fucking done with you! I’ve been busting my ass for you and this is how you repay me? Fuck you Mark! What the hell are you all staring at? Get out before I call the police!”

They all scrambled and scurried out of the door like a giant group of disgusting rodents, tripping over each other to get out. Before they were caught with drugs and arrested for possession.

“Jazmine I was going to clean everything up when it was over!” Mark tried to defend himself, but it was as lame as a dog with four broken legs.

“Are you that stupid? We could get kicked out of here because of the fucking damage your ‘friends’ did to the walls, and all of our food is gone! I don’t get paid for another two days! We have nothing to eat Mark! Nothing! Because you fucked everything up again!” I snapped at him as I dug my palms in to eyes trying to contain the tears that wanted to break free.

“Don’t you even think about saying you’re sorry!” I growled when his lips began to form that hateful sound. “Do you even care about anybody but yourself anymore Mark?!”

“Of course I do,” he mumbled, his head hung low in shame. Good.

“Well you have a real shitty way of showing it!” I snapped in return, “Get out.”

He raised his head at my last command his brown eyes were red and large from the drugs he had consumed earlier, “What?”

“Get out Mark I don’t want to deal with you right now, I have to fix the fucking mess you made and I can’t do that with you here.”

“But where will I go?” he asked softly, but before I could say something very hurtful that I would regret in the morning Jaebum stepped up.

“You can stay with Youngjae and I,” he answered, coming forward from where he stood near the door, Mark just looked at me, like a lost puppy, who just got kicked while he was down.

I turned away from him to start cleaning up the misplaced items, “I love you Minnie.”

I sighed and closed my eyes for a brief moment taking in the endearment, “I know.”

He waited around for a minute like he was expecting me to say it back, but I just couldn’t tonight. He hurt me too badly and three words weren’t going to fix it, no apology could fix it either.

“Come on Mark,” Jaebum said quietly as he began to usher him out of the door.

Once he was gone I sat down on the hard floor, and just let the sobs rack through me.

 

"She hates me," Mark whined to his closest friends who all managed to gather around at Jaebum and BamBam's once the group message had been sent out. Sort of like an S.O.S, the guys knew if Jaz decided to leave him he would definitely do something stupid. But they couldn't expect her to stay when he kept treating her like she was dispensable.

"No she doesn't Mark," BamBam tried to console his depressed mate, but only to get a glare in return.

"She kicked me out!" Mark snapped.

"Calm down, she didn't say anything about not coming back. Just that she couldn't clean up while you were there Mark I'm sure by tomorrow afternoon at least she'll be a little more calm and then you can apologize and gravel or whatever you do." Jaebum told him with a small smile, in his opinion; Jazzy should have left him long ago but he knew she was loyal and she cared too much about his friend.

"What were you thinking anyway? I mean you know the rules of your building..." Jackson asked from the small reclining chair he sat in, he felt just as bad as Jaebum did for Jazzy, it wasn't fair on the poor girl.

"It was only supposed to be a few people and they were supposed to be gone by the time she got home from work," he made excuses for himself once again and it caused Jackson; his closest friend to roll his eyes.

"Christ Mark if I were Jazzy I would have met another guy and left your ass along time ago."

"Thanks for cheering me up Jacks I appreciate it."

"Anytime dude."

Mark twisted the, silver, wedding band around his finger while he thought. She worked two jobs and he saw proof of that every time she brought her paychecks home, so his irrational jealousy doused itself. He knew that she wouldn't do that to him, she was too good of a person to do that.

"Everything will right itself tomorrow." Jaebum added after a moment.

*^*^*

The next Day,  
2:00 PM

I walked out of the pawn shop feeling heavier than when I walked in. I felt like a bitch but I had to do it, I had nothing else worth pawning. After I talked to the landlord it was going to take about four hundred dollars to fix the wall correctly by his standards, and an extra two hundred so he wouldn't toss us out on to the street.

Well my two paychecks only covered his fee, and he wanted the money in his hand by the end of the day or else we'd be royally fucked. So as I walked the three blocks back to the complex, I wondered if he would show his face. I mean I was rather harsh with him, but he deserved it. Look at the consequences I had to face, I had no idea if we were going to eat this week because of him.

When I saw the building in view; I ran quickly it was freezing out here and I was going to die if I stayed outside any longer. Once in my apartment I shook my hair free of the snowflakes, when someone cleared their throat. I squeaked in surprise only to find that it was Mark. I dropped the envelope full of cash on the floor and I scooped it up.

"What's that?" his quiet voice came from the bed.

"Are you clean right now?" I retorted, my anger still ever present.

"Minnie I'm really sorry I know you hate it when I say that but I am I have no idea how else you want me to show it," he told me standing up from the bed, the shakes probably starting to get to him.

"You can show it by giving me the money in your wallet," I snapped at him as I counted the bills inside making sure I had the exact amount the miser asked for.

"What?" he asked me his eyes clear for once, "What for?"

"So we can, I don't know eat."

"I thought you got paid today?" he asked me as he rummaged through his black pants pocket.

"I did but I have to pay Paul so he can fix the wall and then an extra two hundred so we can continue to live here," I told him as I took the two twenties he held out for me. I knew it wasn't all of it but it would be enough to eat.

"How much was the wall?"

"Four hundred," I mumbled, "Now come on you're coming with me so you can stay out of trouble."

I took him by the hand before we began our journey to the first floor, he intertwined our fingers on the second floor. I didn't push him away because from what Jaebum's text had said, he was very sorry and upset and they were worried about him. I noticed as we walked down the stairs he kept looking at our hands, but I thought nothing of it.

"Where'd you get the extra money?" his voice was a little tense, almost like he was a little angry. He had nothing to be upset with me about I did everything I was supposed to, he was the one lacking.

"Borrowed it," I lied straight through my teeth.

"From who?"

"Why does it matter Babe?" I snapped at him, he ran a hand through his hair after giving me an indifferent nod.

"Cause you're lying..." he mumbled, when I raised my fist to knock on the landlord's door.

"No I'm not."

I managed a fake smile when the door swung open, "Hi Paul.”

"Well isn't just my favorite couple, the Tuans."

I swallowed my pride when the big man spoke in his sarcastic tone, I smacked Mark in the gut when he attempted to defend both of us. He glared at me, but my smile stayed plastered on as my hands raised with the envelope full of cash, ready to hand off. Paul took it and counted it in front of me, as if I wasn't trustworthy.

Even through my Goddamn struggle I managed to pay my rent on time along with the rest of my bills, so I did take it personally as each bill was accounted for. Even though we were currently in the middle of a spat, Mark's left hand squeezed mine in comfort. Which I gratefully accepted.

"Let me get a receipt," Paul mumbled, a sort of Oscar the grouch kind of tint to it as he left us at his front door.

"Did you forget your ring upstairs?" Mark asked me as he lifted my left hand in examination.

"Yes," I nodded my head quickly. Hoping Paul would be quicker than usual, I could already feel my cheeks already turning red with my second lie. I felt his eyes burning holes into the side of my face, it was getting hot standing in that position. I found myself chanting a 'hurry up Paul' tune in my head to the theme of Bonanza.

"Jazmine did you lose it?" it would probably look better if I said I lost it, but for some reason I shook my head no like an idiot.

When Paul returned I wanted to hug him for the first time since I lived there, he saved me from the brutal questioning I knew was coming up. I checked over the numbers before we exchanged formal thanks and he shut his door, I wanted to whistle as we began the climb to our flat once more.

"Minnie I can tell you're lying..." he informed me roughly the anger began to brew inside of him. I could tell by the way his vein was throbbing on the side of his neck just below his tattoo.

"Mark please let it go," I told him as I took the initiative to walk ahead of him so I could get in to the flat first; as if it could save me somehow.

"You lost your wedding ring! You expect me to let that go?" he asked slamming the door behind him, locking it as well.

I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes, "I didn't lose it for Fuck's sake I already told you."

"Well then what happened to it Jaz? Rings don't just disappear on their own!"

I remained silent while my eyes stayed shut, tightly, to tune everything in my life out for the moment. I knew by his silence he was starting to use whatever brain cells he had left to figure out what could've happened to it.

I felt the mattress dip on both sides of my body so I opened my eyes, to see him standing over me. I attempted to close my eyes again but he poked me with his foot.

"Jazmine did you sell your ring?" from my angle I could see his nostrils flare, and his dark eyes turned to an opaque obsidian.

"No."

"Minnie..."

"I didn't sell it Mark."

"Quit lying and just tell me the fucking truth!" he jabbed me with his foot again when I looked away from him.

"I pawned it okay? I pawned the damn ring! There happy?" I spat at him, his brown orbs turned in to a raging storm as he took in what I said.

"That's just great Jazmine! Fucking perfect really!" he yelled at me, and I only glared, he kind of had the upper hand with standing over me and all.

"Because that ring meant nothing to me right?" he snapped, rummaging through his pockets for what I was sure was a cigarette.

He lit up above me and inhaled the tobacco.

"You know that is not the reason I did it Mark, don't be a prick about this. We needed the money because you screwed up the wall, I got us the money. I can also get my ring back once I have the money to pay back the clerk, in two weeks it'll be right where you left it! So stop being such a school boy about this and lay the fuck down with me and hold me!" I slapped his jean clad leg.

He did what he was told and laid by my side. I quickly curled into his side, resting my head against his one arm. While the one with the cigarette wrapped around my waist to pull me in closer to him.

"If you burn me babe I swear..."

"I won't," he told me as he placed a kiss in my hair, "I love you Minnie."

"I love you too Mark," I sighed enjoying this rare moment where he was actually sober.

He would remember a moment like this because he wasn't jacked up on some acid, or narcotic, I had to savor it and make it last. When he finished cigarette I placed my lips against his. At first it was a sweet, innocent, little kiss and then it turned into something much more. His tattooed hands found their way up my shirt, while mine messed up his perfectly, fixed, hair.

 

Saturday,  
22 December, 2012  
7:00 PM  
One Week Later

"I apologize on behalf of the restaurant" I gushed as if I really cared, "I'll go get you a new steak."

I lifted the unsatisfying steak and carried it back in to the kitchen with my held high and my pride, I sincerely hated this job with a burning passion. The people were rude and they all acted as if they were entitled to berate myself and my co-workers. I think they forgot that we too are human beings who think, and feel.

I rolled my eyes as I pushed in the door to the kitchen, "Hey Youngjae apparently your idea of medium rare is incorrect, I guess the meat isn't supposed to bleed."

I put the plate up on the rack and pushed it towards him with a cheeky smile that he chuckled at. He took the plate and put it to the side, he slopped another fillet on to the grill and sprinkled it with it's seasoning.

"Jackasses," he mumbled, "Oh well, at least we have dinner."

I nodded my head, I felt bad that he and Yugyeom were the only ones in the kitchen. The restaurant wasn't terribly big place, actually, it was a tiny hole in the wall. But the food was great (thanks to my friends), the place was packed, wall-to-wall, every night. It made it very difficult for them sometimes to keep up, the weekends were the hardest. It was when we are at our most busy.

"That's true," I said with a smile, "Better keep it from Yugy or we'll end up with empty bellies."

"I heard that Jazmine and I'm offended!" the blonde boy said with a playful smirk.

"You are aware that I love you, which is why I keep it honest with you," I retorted before I banged out a beat against the, silver, serving table.

"I have to get out there before the wolves tear Jaebum apart, I'll be back for that perfect steak!" I raised my hand in acknowledgement when both boys gave me a form of goodbye.

As I returned to the dining room I plastered my fake smile right back on and checked on a few tables. When I was reassured that everyone was doing fine I went to see if anyone new was seated in my section, but before I could do that, JB caught my attention and waved me over to the bar. Of course I answered the call right away.

"What's up?"

"Two things," Jaebum's eyes were darker than usual and it made me worry and out of habit, the first thing I had to worry about was Mark.

"Okay," I looked down at my black heels; which were killing my feet, and then checked my black blouse. It was an anxious remedy I always performed when I was worried.

"First, the brown haired guy at table fourteen has taken a very strong liking to you; he asked for your number..."

"What did you say?" I asked him, this wasn't the first time customers have done this to me or to Jaebum. They see us talking casually and they automatically assume we'd surrender the other's number to a complete stranger; fat fuckin' chance.

"That it was prohibited and I may have mentioned you were married."

I chuckled, he was always ready to defend Mark when he couldn't. It was an admirable quality of his and it was also a fault, sometimes my husband was wrong, very wrong, and one of these days JB’s going to stick his neck out for him when he doesn't deserve it.

"Thanks what's the second?"

Jaebum rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort, "Jackson just called and left a message with Maria you should go read it, before the snake spreads it around the whole place."

"Wait you read it? Is he okay? Did he get arrested again?" Jaebum shook his head at all three of my questions.

"I don't know I told her I had tables to wait before she could read it to me," he looked away when a customer waved their hand for his assistance and began to back away.

"Go look and let me know!" he said before he turned his back to tend to his duties.

I took off for the hostess station, trying to keep my thoughts calm, and my expression comfortable. I hated Maria, she was a bitch to everyone, and she was a horrid, little, gossiper, who thought she was discreet. But all ten of us who worked in this upscaled hell hole knew that this brat was responsible the rumors spread in the workplace.

I cleared my throat to gain the bottle blonde's attention while she sat on the stool, twirling her fake hair. She made me want to puke sometimes with how perfect, and cute, she thought she was being. When in reality she looked like a hot mess, with her over use of makeup, and her inappropriate work clothes. I'm fairly certain none of the women dining here appreciate her flirting pathetically with their husbands.

"What do you want?" her baby doll voice sounded just like nails on a blackboard.

I saw a note with Jackson's name on it and grabbed it before the blonde could even comprehend what I was doing, "None of your business."

I smiled at her before I walked away, leaving her to her sulking. There was an upside to having Maria around; if there ever was a zombie apocalypse we'd have someone to sacrifice.

I smiled at my own joke as I began to read the paper in the bitch's perfect handwriting:

Jackson needs you to call him, it's about your loser husband.

I could feel the steam rising through my body and out through my ears; it was one thing for me, or the guys to call Mark, a bum, or loser, but someone I hated? Especially this bitch? I wanted so badly to pummel her ass right off that flimsy piece of wood, but I would automatically get fired and it would solve nothing. So I just angrily crumpled the piece of paper up, checked on my tables again, and promised the man who complained that his steak would be out shortly.

"I'm back," I announced myself as I entered the kitchen and headed for the old phone on the wall next to the stove BamBam was currently cooking on, "And I have to ring Jacks."

"Oh no," was all Youngjae offered me as he flipped a burger.

My fingers tapped rapidly against the wall as I waited for someone to answer the other, "I swear to Jesus if he's in jail again he's staying there."

"Nothing like a lil tough love!" Yugyeom called from across the kitchen with a laugh.

I giggled along with him until I was greeted by that low voice, "What he do?"

"He's sick Jaz..." Jackson sounded hushed, like he had to be quiet.

My heart stopped beating for a moment and I shook my head. It could just be the flu or a small cold and he was being a baby, running his friend ragged with nothing left to do but call me.

"Sick? With what?" I scratched the top of my bunned head.

"I don't know but he's shaking, throwing up, he's hot one minute, cold the next, it's bad Jazzy. He just fell asleep but he really wants you he's been asking for you all day, he was crying Jaz because I said no, crying, Mark doesn't do that! I didn't know what else to do, I tried to wait until your shift was over but, I'm scared. I don't like seeing him this desperate, it's freaking me out!"

By Jackson's description it sounded like my husband hadn't gotten his fix for the day and I knew what an awful sight it was. It tore me to pieces every time, it wasn't very often, but I wasn't surprised that he would be without this week, Mark was selfish ninety percent of the time but not when it comes to Christmas, he probably spent this week's money on everyone else.

I sighed before I leaned against the wall with my elbow, "I'll see if Roberto will let me go early, I'm sorry you have to see him like that Jacks..."

BamBam gave me an odd look but I didn't give a response as I listened to Jackson thank me very graciously, "It's alright I don't blame you, just stay with him until I can get home if you get a text from me it means I'm on my way."

He agreed and I promised him he'd be asleep for awhile and then we hung up, only to be greeted by three pairs of wondering eyes.

I tightened the bun on my head, "Mark's sick and Jackson is scared so I have to go home and play nurse, I'm sorry guys."

"It's alright Mark needs you we understand," BamBam told me with a sad expression.

"Should we stop by after work?" Jaebum asked me as I took the waiting steak in my hand, getting ready to serve my last table.

"The morning would probably be better," I told them, but I wasn't sure he could be just as bad tomorrow if he didn't get a hit. But I knew Mark and I didn't want him to be embarrassed, I'm sure he was already horrified that his best friend had seen him at an all time low.

"Is he going to be okay?" Youngjae asked me, "Now I'm worried."

"He's going to be fine," I promised them which probably wasn't fair since I didn't know if he was going to be alright for sure.

"Could you take my tables Jaebum?" he nodded in agreement, I reached into my apron and gave him my order book. I waved goodbyes with a promise of texting all of them to tell them how my husband was doing.

I apologized to the man again and then set his dinner down in front of him and then I went to each table and informed them that Jaebum was going to be taking their service over, and then I went in search of my boss. Roberto was a forty-year-old Italian man who was extremely sweet, and kind. I felt bad that I once again had to take advantage of his generosity but Mark needed me.

I found the man by the front entrance and I called him. He called my name cheerfully with a smile.

"I'm so sorry Roberto but my husband is very sick would it be alright if I left early?" his smile dimmed a great deal before he sighed, he nodded his head.

"Yes of course I'll see you tomorrow night," I thanked him repeatedly before I removed my coat from the rack, "I hope he feels better!"

"Thank you!" I called, I bundled up as I took off for the bus station and as I waited I texted Jackson.

*^*^*

8:00 PM

"I'm sorry it took me so long Jacks but the buses were running late," I whispered as I entered my apartment, Jackson sat on one of our boxes near the bed to keep his eye on Mark. Jackson looked so relieved as he stood to greet me.

I pulled my coat off and following it my apron, then I went directly into the kitchen to get a cool bowl of water for Mark's head, and then a bucket for him to throw up in.

"Did you call in for him?" I asked softly when he joined me in the kitchen.

"Yeah," he replied quickly, "What's wrong with him?"

"Get that for me?" I pointed to the to the bucket he grabbed it for me right away, "He's going through withdrawal..." I added quietly.

I sat down at my husband's bedside dipping the towel into the cool water, I wrung it out and then folded it up so I could place it on his forehead. The contact of the water made his eyes open slowly, he blinked from the brightness of the light and once his eyes adjusted I smiled a genuine for him, I stroked his cheek lightly.

"Minnie?" his voice was hoarse, like he hadn't had anything to drink for days.

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?" I asked softly.

"Awful," he hacked for a good minute.

I looked to Jackson, "Can you get him some water?"

The tall boy did as he was asked, leaving me alone with Mark.

"Minnie I need it," he mumbled once he was sure his friend couldn't hear us, I did my best to keep my disappointment off my face.

"Oh Babe," I sighed as my fingers ran through his hair in a way I knew he found soothing, "It'll pass. Just like last time."

"Jazmine please," he begged me, I shook my head , swallowing the tears rising in my throat. I hated when he pleaded with me like that it put me in such a terrible position, he was in fucking hell and it would fix it, but at the same time it would make his addiction worse.

"No Babe I'm not doing that," I said softly, I held his hand, his body was quivering at a very fast rate, and the only thing I could do was place a kiss on top of it.

"Jazmine!" he snapped at me, his mood shifting faster than Bruce Banner turning in to the hulk. "I NEED it!"

I took a deep breath trying to recover from his loud volume, "Mark stop it you're going to hurt your throat and you're making Jacks uncomfortable."

"I don't give a fuck!" he bellowed, "Neither of you assholes are helping me!"

"He doesn't mean it Jackson," I told our friend, "He just doesn't feel good..."

"Maybe we should just—"

"It's not going to help him if—"

"Well this isn't really helping him either..." Jackson replied as he went for the door.

"Jackson don't you dare!" I warned him, but he proceeded to put his foot out in to the hallway and then he was gone. Didn't anyone understand that they were enabling him? Making his condition worse? God he was never going to kick this damn habit, if everyone kept giving in to him. Fuck! I didn't like seeing him this way either! But I knew better dammit!

I wasn't going to watch him give my husband cocaine, if he brought it into my apartment I was leaving. I wasn't going to watch him fall apart in front of me, I couldn't take much more of this my heart was breaking, the boy laying in that bed wasn't the man that I fell in love with. He just looked like him, occasionally acted like him, only to return to this. This—this, loser, this nobody, wasn't Mark Tuan it was a shell of him.

I subtly wiped my tears away, I couldn't do this anymore, if drugs were brought in to my flat I was gone, and I wasn't sure if I was going to come back. I thought I'd return to Manhattan, admit to my parents that I made a stupid decision and start all over again. Forget everything he put me through, forget everything about him completely.

Mark and I didn't talk while I waited on the last straw that would make my decision for me. He groaned in pain and gripped my hand like a life preserver, it reminded me of a little child. I dabbed his face with the cloth to keep him cool. When the door opened again I looked up, and when I saw that tiny bag, I stood.

"Here Mark," Jackson gave him the bag, I wanted to throw up but instead I grabbed my tote bag and threw some clothes inside of it. I grabbed my charger and whatever money I had left, I couldn't take this. It hurt me too much. I wasn't going to watch the only man I ever loved ruin his life one needle at a time.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked me as I began to button up my jacket.

"Home."

"You are home," he told me, but I only shook my head and gave him a weak smile.

"Bye Mark," I put the bag over my shoulder, and I nodded to Jackson.

"Minnie!" he yelled as I opened the door and I let the tears fall down my cheeks. This hurt more than I thought it was going to but for once I had to do what was best for me, and that was walking away for however long I needed, whether it be just for the holidays, or permanently. I just tried to shake the pain away as I closed the door behind me

"Jazmine come back!" the desperation in his tone almost made me turn around, but I pressed on. I just couldn't deal with him right now I needed time.

I loved him so much but he needed help, and maybe while I was away I could get him some. I'd have to beg and maybe even plead but I had to try, because I knew as much as I wanted to, there was no way I could stay away from him. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten married, we wouldn't have had a relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

25 December  
11:00 AM  
Manhattan, New York  
The Grant Household

I'll admit sitting around my parents grand dining room table was something I hadn't missed completely; even on Christmas morning the only sound to be heard was our silverware clacking, and clanging against the table. Our reunion was peculiar, I could tell in their eyes that they were happy to see me, but their damn pride wouldn't let them show me the affection they used to.

Before Mark became a permanent fixture in my life. I never understood why they disliked him so much; he wasn't ever impolite, or vulgar. In front of them anyway, maybe it was because he was three years older than me. I was sixteen when we met and he was nineteen, he was already out of school and he wasn't attending a University. I always wondered if that was the reason that they didn't like him; his career wasn't ideal to my parents. They had hoped I would meet some, stuffy, pompous, lawyer or doctor, but instead it was Mark; the musician, who could belt out notes like an angel and play a guitar like the devil.

We weren't the couple who had to sneak around to see each other, but we both knew that my parents weren't expecting us to last. Let alone get married. I hadn't either but when he proposed to me in front of the statue where we met a little over two years ago, I couldn't turn him down. After all I loved him and he was a different person back then.

"So Jazmine you never did tell us why you came home from Christmas..." my mother prodded after she cleared her throat, "And without your—husband," she had to drink some water to get the last word out.

I resisted from rolling my eyes, simply because I was at their mercy, I was here because Mark needed help and this was my only way of getting it for him.

"Well Mom I was going to wait until after breakfast but since you brought it up...I need your help. Please know that I wouldn't ask you guys if I had other options, but I don't and I am really sticking my neck out here, so tell me now if you aren't going to listen to me?"

"Christ Jazmine, you're worrying me now...are you ill?" my father told me, as he leaned forward in his chair.

"No I'm not," I shook my head, "But I want the chance to be heard before you decide against it."

"We're listening," my mother told me, with a wave of her hand for me to continue.

I took a deep breath in, "Mark has a problem, I've tried every way and remedy to fix it without professional help but it hasn't worked, and I fear that if he doesn't get himself on track, things will only get worse, so Mom to answer your question, I'm here to get my husband help, because he wasn't in a position to travel when I left..."

"Well what kind of help does he need?" Dad asked me, wiping his mouth with a napkin. My father was a smart man, I'm sure he already knew what I was getting at.

"He needs a...well—"

"Out with it Jazmine," my mother barked, impatiently.

"He needs a detox center," I mumbled, as I played with my fingers as they rested in my lap.

Mum let out a bitter laugh, "Isn't that rich Walter? Didn't I tell you that this would happen?"

I glared at my mother, could she not appreciate that I had put myself out there? Just for once? It's not as if I wanted to ask her for help but I had no one else to ask, and this wasn't just for Mark, it was for our marriage, our entire relationship could be rectified if we got him the help he needed.

"Lucy please," my father scolded; much to my surprise, "How long has he been...like this?"

"A little over seven months," I told him, a spark of hope filled my entire being at my father's question, I prayed that it meant he was considering it.

"What is it exactly that he is addicted to?"

"Cocaine."

"I can't believe you're even entertaining this Walt it's ridiculous!" my mother always had a flare for the dramatic, and this time I rolled my eyes.

"Listen dear, if this means that we get to see our daughter in person than I am going to entertain this all the way to the bank. Besides, it took a lot of gumption for her to even come here, and I respect that and it's about time we respect that she's an adult and she made the decision to marry this boy..." my mother's face was priceless when she realized that she was just knocked down from her, shiny, pedestal.

I looked at my father with a joyous smile. It felt good to know that I finally had my father back on my side. I just wanted to hug him but I didn't want to rub salt into my mother's wound. Maybe she would come around when she realized that she was doing something good for someone else, for once.

"Have you looked at any centers darling?" my father turned his head to address me once more.

"Yes actually, there's one just outside of the city that specializes in Mark's particular situation."

"Excellent, come with me to the study and we'll look into the details."

*^*^*

As I lay in bed that evening I fought a hard battle with myself; should I ring Mark? I was worried about him, the texts I received from all of the guys asked me to come back. They could barely keep control of him, they didn't give me details but they told me he needs me or they were afraid something bad was going to happen.

I played with the cheap phone, flipping it up in my hands and then back down. I was unsure if he would even pick up the phone for me, but that natural habit of worrying over him was kicking into overdrive as I thought of my next move. My fingers unlocked the screen without a second thought as sick scenarios began to play like a teenage movie in my head.

I dialed the number I knew by heart and listened to it to ring for an eternity; until there was a sharp greeting.

"Hi Babe," I flipped over onto my stomach to get comfortable again.

"Minnie," his voice was slightly cold and it made me flinch.

"How are you?"

He let out a bitter laugh, "Considering my wife left me just before Christmas I would say pretty shitty."

"I'm sorry Mark but I couldn't be around that, I tried but that was just too far."

"So you went back to Manhattan? Where your parents can hate me even more for being such a fuck up?" he snapped at me, I took it as now was not a good time to tell him about what my father agreed to.

"They don't hate you Mark..." I told him, knowing that at least my father didn't. To my father Mark Tomlinson wasn't his exact idea of my Prince Charming but it's who I chose and he was beginning to accept it better. My mother, on the other hand was a different story, she wasn't an easy person for anyone to get along with, let alone those she deemed to be of lower class.

"Sure they don't, I distinctly remember your mother threatening to call the police on me if we got married..." Mark growled

"But my father talked her out of it," I ran a hand through my dark mane, "My Dad likes you babe it's just my Mom and that's because she didn't get to choose my husband."

"Or approve," he retorted, "So are you comin' home?"

I took a deep breath; this was it, the moment of truth. The big proposition, I hoped he was in love with me as I was with him. It was all I had as a weapon to convince him to do this. I had already discussed it with the four boys, and they thought it was best that I handle it this way. If I were the one to tell him that he had a problem.

"Babe how much do you love me?" I hadn't meant to sound like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I did.

"Jazmine, you know I'd do anything for you."

"I know, and you know that I would do the same for you, right?"

"Well given the current circumstances I'm not so sure," he told me with a snarky tone. I shook my head and did my best to ignore his sarcastic attitude.

"Mark, I love you very much. Which is why I'm having such a hard time watching you destroy yourself with these, late, drug filled, nights. You have a problem Mark and I'm afraid—we're all afraid that you're going to end up extremely sick or dead somewhere in the streets, you need help baby."

"You want me to go to some rehab?" Mark's voice dripped of disgust, "No Jaz."

"Mark please, it's a beautiful place called Tall Oaks; it's just outside the city. It's only twenty minutes from our flat and it's only for a month..." I pleaded with him, hoping that for once in his life, his drugged out brain, would function properly.

"Jazmine I don't need help, I'm fucking fine! The only problem I have is with you right now."

"Yes you do Mark! You go through withdrawal so quickly now, you're constantly getting bailed out of jail by the guys or myself, you use our grocery money on said drugs, so I have to pick up extra shifts so you don't complain that you're hungry! Our relationship is crumbling Babe because of your addiction!" I snapped at him, "I can't take it anymore Mark! For fuck's sake I love you, but I'm not going to stand by and watch you throw your life away, if you don't go then I want a divorce..."

There it was my ultimatum, either he did this for us or he'd let his wounded pride win and lose our relationship. He was quiet for a few minutes, but I knew that he was there because I could hear his breathing. Inhale, exhale, and repeat. They were short breaths but heavy in sound, I knew he was thinking, possibly weighing his options.

"Really Minnie? I never thought you would stoop that low."

"You don't know me like you used to Mark."

"I can stop on my own."

"Fine but you'll be a single man..." I told him nonchalantly, I checked over my nails; which proved to be pointless since I couldn't really see in the dark.

"Jesus!" he exclaimed frustrated, "You're being a bitch you know that?"

"You'll thank me later," I retorted even though what he said had hurt my feelings. I could recall the days when he would kick himself for calling me a bitch, or a twat. "Does this mean you will go?"

"...I guess I have no other choice with the divorce you're holding over my head do I?"

"It will be good for you Babe, you can even bring your guitar with you!" I told him, excited and hopeful for the change ahead of us.

"Great, merry Fucking Christmas to me! A twenty-eight day stay at a rehab with my guitar is just what I wanted from Santa this year!" Mark cheered sarcastically, I could just see that sassy smile on his face as he pouted about his decision.

"Oh Mark, I hope you know this all out of love."

"Sure, when you comin' home?" he shrugged off my first comment, I expected him to be angry though but on the bright side he wanted me to come home.

"In a few days, I'll be home for New Year's."

"Good because unlike you I actually have a present that I think you'd like...but now you have to earn it back..."

"What are you suggesting Babe?" I asked my eyebrow quirked, I already knew where his warped mind was lurking, and it put a smirk on my face.

"Remember that show we watched about Egyptian pharaohs and their sex slaves?" I didn't miss that cocky tone, I could just picture that devilish grin on his face, and it made my cheeks turn red. Thinking about things like that in my old bedroom, where my parents slept in the next room over.

"Mark!" I scolded him playfully but chuckled in return this was how he used to be, how he somehow magically got me to marry him.

 

3 January, 2013  
New York  
10:00 AM

Today was the big day and I was scared, the last couple of days were pretty blissful. I mean I knew he was still at it otherwise he would have been shaking like a leaf in a rainstorm but he did agree to go and that was huge, so I hoped that this would cure him of his need for these drugs. I adjusted my head on his chest while he still slept. I would have to wake him up soon but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the serenity of the moment.

I sighed contently after five minutes before I began to leave soft kisses on his naked chest, "Mark."

He grunted something incomprehensible and I could only shake my head at him with a chuckle, before I placed more kisses along his jawline and then his nose, until I finally reached, his lips and when I felt that pressure against my lips I knew he was awake, he was just being a sloth about getting up.

"Time to get up Babe," I mumbled looking in to his dark eyes.

"No thank you," he replied, he tugged me closer to his side when I attempted to leave the mattress.

I giggled kissing his nose and then I separated myself from him; skipping around the room to find a decent amount of coverage. It felt like a good hour before I found a pair of clean panties to throw on, Mark watched me struggle with my clothing; a smirk adorned his pink lips in amusement when I nearly fell over.

"Don't laugh at me," I scolded him when I pulled my shirt on over my head.

"I'm laughing with you," he supplied as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. That's when I noticed the long red scratch marks going down his back; I was horrified. Did I do that? I mean he was a little rough last night; I really had no choice. Needless to say I was very much embarrassed with myself, I could feel my cheeks redden.

"Mark put on a shirt," I tossed one at him, I didn't want anyone to see my handiwork. I've received enough teasing as it was from the guys and my own husband about how vocal I was in bed; this would only add fuel to the fire.

"I still have to shower there would be no point," he told me letting the blanket fall from his body, he took the shirt with him though. He placed a kiss on my cheek as he passed by, I'm sure sensing my embarrassment. As he entered the bathroom I found a suitcase and began to pack everything the receptionist told me he would need to bring.

I packed a month's worth of clothes, a couple of his favorite books, a few cartons of cigarettes and when he finished showering I would pack his body wash, hair gel, shampoo, conditioner, and toothbrush. Until then though I decided to pack up his guitar, but I couldn't find his picks normally they were in the drawer in the kitchen.

So I went back to the case and rummaged through all of the pockets, I found about two and figured that would be enough if he was diligent. I tucked the acoustic guitar in to its bed and zipped it up. I then went to work on getting breakfast made, hell it was probably considered lunch now, but I still made him some french toast and bacon.

So when he exited the bathroom, his hair dripping wet, with only his pants on; I had his breakfast all ready for him to consume. While I just ate some simple jelly on toast, he sat on the counter and began eating himself, slowly too. I could feel his gaze on my face when I looked out the window, it was just becoming real that I was going to be without my husband for a month.

It was for the best though; he was going to get better and we would have our old relationship back. I couldn't help but feel a little insecure though, what if he met someone while he was at Tall Oaks? Someone who had more in common with him then I? We had a lot in common interest wise, but not experiences. I didn't want this to be like a movie where I lose my husband to another recovering junkie.

Mark was everything to me; he was all I knew. He was the first boyfriend I had that actually cared about me and what I wanted out of life. He encouraged my dreams of owning my own bookstore and in return I supported his band. However things didn't go as either of us planned obviously; but that was beside the point. My husband just understood me when no one else did, not even myself.

To lose him would be losing myself, there would be no recovering from something like that. I'd be lost without him; it's why I have stuck with him through everything. Put up with every curve ball he's thrown at me and still stayed, without Mark there was no me. Which I admit is incredibly sad to be so dependent upon a man but it was too late to break the habit.

"What's the matter Minnie?" he asked softly, interrupting my thoughts right away.

I averted my eyes from the window to look at him; tears welled up in my eyes. I had to suck it up I was the one sending him away, he was only going to be twenty minutes away and I knew they were going to have a visitors weekend where I could spend the day with him. Just twenty-eight days and he'll be mine again.

"Nothing," I lied putting on a fake smile for him; but he wasn't buying it.

"I know when you're lying Jazmine so why even bother?" he asked me, he set his dish down into the sink and jumped down from the counter. He cornered me with his body weight as he pushed me against the cabinets, placing an arm on either side of me.

My hands cupped his cheeks as I looked into those obsidian orbs, "I'm just going to miss you a lot."

"I'm going to miss you too," our foreheads touched for a moment before I connected our lips briefly, "Just promise me that while I'm gone no other guy is going to take my place..."

The fierce tone of jealousy was loud and clear and it sent a little rush of excitement throughout my body.

I nodded my head, "I promise, you better not meet another girl while you're away."

"I can promise you that will not happen," he replied with a small smile, "I love you Minnie."

I wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him closer, I inhaled his scent as I let some tears go.

"I love you too Babe," I kept him in my embrace for awhile, it felt like hours as I waited for that knock on the door. We broke away reluctantly so he could go to answer the door. I washed his breakfast dishes as I listened to his friends enter our small flat. They sounded casual but on the inside I'm sure they were feeling like me.

"It looks like a jungle cat used your back as a scratching post!" BamBam exclaimed as he burst out laughing, my shoulders hunched up. That's exactly why I told him to put on a shirt.

"Damn Jazzy cut your nails!" he cackled as Mark told him to shut up. I just rolled my eyes, things were definitely going to be different around here without him.

"Ass," I mumbled smacking the tall boy upside his head as I waited for Mark to finish his hair and the rest of his daily routine.

"How is he this morning?" Jackson asked me on a much more serious note.

"Normal really, he's been fine."

"That's good, maybe he's really going to put forth an effort."

"I think he is."

***

"You know how proud I am of you right?" I asked Mark as he helped Jacks and Jaebum with his things from the trunk.

"Yes baby, you've mentioned it once or twice before."

"Well I am," I told him, he closed his friend's trunk and then turned around to face the pretty looking building.

It was about three or four stories high, with gray stone finish and a beautiful rose garden leading up to the front entrance of the building. If I didn't know what it really was, I would have thought it to be a nice hotel. Or even a bed and breakfast. From the pictures on their website it seemed fairly nice, I think Mark would be comfortable.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" I asked him, and he only shook his head. "Oh well, I love you."

"I love you too," he told me before we shared a small; but long kiss that was meant to last the month we were going to be parted. He then left me to say goodbye to his friends, he gave them each a man hug for a good few minutes as they expressed their pride in a much more subtle way than I.

"Call us as much as you can," I told him when he picked his bags up from the cobblestone walkway.

"I will," he responded as he said goodbye and began his trip to recovery; I let some of my tears go.

"I miss him already and he isn't even inside yet," I told the two boys who laughed along with me.

"We all do," Jaebum said, "But he's going to get better and then he'll be here for good."

"You're sure this was the right thing to do?" I got into the back seat once Mark was out of my sight.

"Yes Jazzy, he would've been dead if you didn't do anything to stop him," Jacks turned from the passenger seat and gave me a signature smile. "He's tough; he'll be okay."

"I hope you're right," I sighed softly running a hand through my hair.

We continued on our drive back to my flat so I could get ready for work, but after ten minutes of silence Jackson spoke again.

"Mark wanted me to give you this," he presented a small box, wrapped in gift paper. I was curious but took it from him anyway, but I was reluctant to open it. "Open it Jaz."

I tore at that red, shiny paper, only to find a black velvet, ring box. My heart picked up a little as I opened it, my hand found my mouth. Most women would probably have expected it but I didn't; he had gotten my wedding ring back, I took it out from it's tiny holder and as I did, I noticed the engraving on the inside. It was so sweet that tears leaked out of my eyes again.

I love you forever.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of my old fanfic from mibba, enjoy! Also I don't encourage drug use. But if someone needs help and is asking for it please don't ignore them!


End file.
